It's no secret that I like to read--and that I read a lot. I read all the time and pretty much whatever I can get my hands on: fiction, non-fiction, harlequin romances. I'm a little ashamed that I like to read the latter--it's definitely not from my days of training as lit student. And it's probably not something my dad would like to hear either, even if they have been updated for the contemporary reader (meaning Fabio no longer graces the covers, instead there are artful illustrations on bright backgrounds). I don't think I'm ashamed that I'm reading terrible writing because obviously the writer's aren't that bad--they're published! I think that I'm more ashamed because I'm training my mind to like all that junk, and it makes it ten times as hard to sit down and work through Faulkner.
I've come up with a solution: Keri and I are starting a summer reading challenge. 20 books worth reading by the end of August. In between the hard ones, we're alternating library romances--we anticipate pool reading, and I just don't see us reading Elizabeth
Gaskell at the pool. Sam's picked a few books he considers essentials, but I want to see what the
internet thinks: dad? any suggestions? What's on your summer reading list?
Once we narrow it down, I'll publish the final list of 20, and I'll make sure to give weekly progress reports, plus book reviews. Speaking of book reviews, here are some on books I read a few months ago. Naturally since marriage has consumed my thoughts since January, they deal with that. But, even if you're single, they're great to read.
The first book is
Abigail & John: Portrait of a Marriage by Edith
Gelles. I picked this up off of a give away table at work, and although it doesn't quite fit in a beach bag (it's pretty lengthy, and kind of cumbersome to wade through), it's a great read. I found myself underlining, taking copious notes, and responding to some of what
Gelles assumes about our heroine--Abigail.
Gelles focuses, mainly, on the marriage of two people who didn't spend a lot of time together. It's interesting to see the people behind the Revolution. I've never been a huge history buff; I barely know the dates. However, seeing the people behind the history makes it interesting. On top of that, Abigail Adams might be the best woman--ever.
Gelles writes that John abandons active participation in their marriage really early on (it was page 65 of the book). She says of the marriage that Abigail "would suffer and struggle and all the while grow in strength to endure and make the decisions she must make to tend to her world--and his--in his absence. He with her blessings--mostly--would turn his attention to the national struggle." Wonder what would happen to the national struggle if so many of these Revolutionaries didn't have women holding the fort down at home? Although my early notes wrestled with the idea of John abandoning active participation (when is it
ok for a woman to ever completely do that?), I'm starting to see that marriage is a partnership. Anyways, good book. Great insights.
The second book is a non-fiction / memoir type by Elizabeth Gilbert. Most notably the author of
Eat, Pray, Love, which I ate, prayed, and loved. Well, not really, but I did really like it. Coincidentally,
Committed came out about the same time that Sam and I started planning the wedding. So I bought it in hardback (which I never do); I just thought I would like it that much. The problem with non-fiction / memoir type books is that they are just that: non-fiction / memoir type books. They're not particularly self-help, and although some of them profess to be able to help you, they're really just the story of one person's experience. Gilbert's story (from the beginning) is that she was in a relationship, it went bad, she went down, so she journeyed through it and wrote the best-selling first book. And then she wound up falling in love again and following her love to the jungle of South America. Which is kind of where this book picks up. They travel a lot. And they decide, even though they had both sworn off marriage, to get married, mostly because of legal immigration issues. Gilbert decides, because she HAS to get married, that she's going to learn everything she can about it. Only, she chooses some kind of crazy people to ask. And she looks at a lot of historical evidence that basically says marriage is a crazy institution (not exactly the best book to read right before walking down the aisle, folks). Here's one of my favorite parts. It's kind of long, so you can quit reading at any time.
"Do I sound like I'm trying to talk myself into something here? People, I
am
And if you're still with me, the book pretty much ends there. I didn't feel comforted. I felt I was crazy for even thinking about entering into this seriously backwards institution. But I think that Gilbert has it somewhat right: maybe I didn't need to search through the whole of Western marriage to determine that we have some things backward, but I get that the leap shouldn't be easy. I think if we're always slightly uncomfortable, we're better off in the end. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. So, read this one at your own risk--mainly, don't read if you're about to get married. But if you're already married, go ahead, Gilbert might surprise you.
